Weighing heavily on my mind...

Hello my lovelies! Well, today's post is somewhat of a departure from the all smiling, optimistic half-jar-full posts I always tend to write. You see, my jar is full, overflowing in fact, but it's not a good thing this time. I am referring to the fact that I have put on quite  a bit of weight, and it seems I'm spilling out of my jar, or trousers as it may be! Because of it I have been feeling a little out of sorts to say the least. I am the heaviest I have ever been (when not pregnant!), and it is something that has gradually crept up on me over time, and attached itself to my thighs! You see, I am a 'comfort eater'. I eat when I am stressed, upset, or bored, and lately I have been all those things. Since starting a new job where I am permanently glued to a desk, I am no longer as active as I used to be. A few other stressful factors have also meant that I have been seeking solitude in the cookie jar! It's like a bad cycle...the more weight I gain, the worse I feel, and the more M&M's I scoff like a starved child in order to make me feel better!  The worst part is that I have become the queen of excuses! I can give you a gazillion reasons why the diet will start tomorrow, why I can't possibly go for a walk today, and why I 'needed' another mouthful of buttery potatoes! But, dare I say....NO MORE!

I am here, now, typing and measuring every word I write, and even wondering to myself if I will have the nerve to press 'publish' at the top of this page when it comes to it. It's like standing naked in front of the mirror, and not seeing just my own reflection, but all your eyes staring back at my exposed flesh...and it's not a pretty sight! But, I have reached the point where I think it's time to keep it real. I can try to hide behind every well worded poster of  'curves are sexy', or 'love yourself as you are', but the reality is that my bottom will eventually outgrow even those words if I don't take action now! Don't get me wrong, everyone is different, and many people are happy in their 'not so perfect' bodies...after all, is there such a thing? I think perfect means healthy, and that I am not. When my doctor tells me that I need to lose at least 15 kg in order to get my BMI to a healthy, acceptable level, I need to listen. And do. So I am. Listening...and doing.

Starting now, not tomorrow, I am going to make some changes. I will no longer blame those pesky calorie fairies for sneaking into my wardrobe at night and sewing my seams tighter! I vow to be honest with myself, and to face the task of chiseling away the lardy lumps with commitment, determination, realistic expectations and a goal in mind. It won't happen over night, but it will happen...one day at a time! I know it won't always be easy...if only...

This is really important. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to keep up with the kids, and I want my clothes to fit! I am tired of feeling like a Boa Constrictor has latched on to my chest when I squeeze into my dresses, and I'm tired of having the Fire Brigade on speed dial, just in case they have to cut me out of my clothes in order to prevent me from suffocating! I know there is a 'six pack' waiting to burst out from my abdomen! At the moment it is wrapped up in copious amounts of bubble wrap!

You ask how I intend to shift the weight? I'll tell you. I intend to eat only that which nurtures my body, to cut out the bad stuff, and to exercise more. Yes, I'm keeping it simple. No fad diets and quick fixes here. I want to make better life choices that I can stick with for the long run. It will be a journey of retraining my palate to say no to processed, sugary and fatty foods. The results might take a little longer, but I intend for it to last longer too! I might follow this one tip though! Hee-hee...

I don't intend quitting. I will be transparent, honest and I will let you know how I get on. Time to take action...here goes...

Blessings,